Selfcare in Quarantine: From One Momma to Another

It’s probably safe to say that most of us are currently in some level of crisis-management mode right now. And while this looks different for each of us, I’ll bet there is a striking common thread - we are focusing all our energy on keeping the ship-that-is-our-quarantined-family afloat, and self-care is firmly on the back burner. 

Maybe you have suddenly found yourself forced into homeschooling your children. Maybe your workplace has closed and you are wondering how long the savings can stretch. Maybe you or your loved ones are vulnerable to infection. MAYBE YOU RAN OUT OF TOILET PAPER. 

I have four young children, three of whom usually attend school, but now...now they are homeschooled, so help me God. I also am attempting to feed a family of six when crazy people clean out the grocery stores and leave empty shelves behind them. Except I’m not supposed to take my children to those stores anyway, and they are always with me now, so... 

Oh, and also we are moving in two weeks and I have to figure out how to pack this entire house with absolutely no kid-free time. 

My children have an internal alarm clock of 6 am and by 7 they have dressed, made beds, brushed teeth, eaten a bowl of cereal and we are out taking a walk. The sun is not yet above the horizon, people. I have to structure their day and keep them moving from learning-time to making-time to eating-time and more because if I give them one everloving free second, they turn into a dog pile of yelling and wrestling which always, always ends in someone hurt and crying and tattling. Staying a step ahead of them all day, every day, WHEN WE CAN GO NOWHERE other than our own yard is exhausting. If anyone has a right to say, “I literally have no time to self-care right now,” it is me. 

AND YET! This is a season in which I have found out how absolutely vital it is to care for myself when my cup is being drained so continually. So, what does self-care look like when you can’t go get a massage, go get a facial, go out shopping, go meet your friends...in short, anything involving the word “go”? 

For me in this season, self-care has boiled down to making wise choices that shepherd my resources so I can make it through the day successfully. The most basic seeming things now fall under the category of “self-care”! 

I take care of myself when I decide to go to bed on time. Because tomorrow we are out the gate running before dawn. If I wake up dragging (read: cranky) and my kids are getting on my last nerve by 6:05 am, it’s going to be a LONG day. This will ultimately cause me unhappiness. Therefore, I choose to go to bed on time as an act of self-love for tomorrow. 

I take care of myself when I force my kids to take a morning walk with me. 😂 Do they all want to go? NOPE. But we are going to be stuck inside this house with each other all day long and by golly, we need to get some fresh air! The day is so beautiful when it is fresh and the breeze is gentle, the birds singing, the moon still in the sky. I put in my AirPods, the kids skate/scooter/bike, and it sets the tone for my day in a remarkable way. We might have started the day on a bad foot, but by the time we get home, everyone is in a much better frame of mind. 

I take care of myself when I let the kids watch TV while I go out back with my yoga mat to practice and meditate alone for 30 minutes before my husband leaves for work. This fuels my energy and restores my mind and soul balance as I practice gratitude to God for this healthy and strong body I am living in. 

I take care of myself when I strictly enforce a quiet time after lunch. Only my toddler still naps, so it might seem like majority rules - 3 out of 4 kids do not sleep, therefore the day would keep rolling. But nope! Mama needs some alone time in the middle of the day to re-charge. During this time I have a strict non-productivity rule for myself. This is not the time for catching up on chores! This is when I get everyone set with something quiet (preferably separate), then I lay down, close my door and tell everyone not to bother me unless there is blood, vomit or fire! 

I take care of myself when I listen to and respect my body and my internal emotions. Sometimes I am operating a small restaurant and making it rain food across the kitchen bar for everyone else but me. Sandwiches! Apple slices! Yogurt! Dinosaur nuggets! Cheese sticks! And guess who is getting hungrier and hangrier by the time everyone else starts whining, “Can I have dessert?? Why not??” When I organize meal times to include/prioritize feeding myself, I practice self-care. 

I take care of myself when I have the introspective maturity to realize that I have reached the end of my endurance, and for the good of everyone here, I need to withdraw. Have I locked myself in my bedroom with a bag of chips? Sure have! Have I snuck outside when they weren’t looking (then didn’t reply when they started calling, “MOM??? MOOOOM???”) just to take a few deep breaths of fresh air? Yep. Because it’s better to hide for a little bit than to blow up. When I feel the end of the rope coming and try to push through, it isn’t pretty. I practice self-care when I recognize my limitations and respect them. 

I take care of myself when I find ways to squeeze in something that feeds my own relaxation. Everyone has a different way to do this - a hobby, binge-watching a show, cooking something adventurous, playing a mindless jelly popping game on their phone! I escape through reading, so every time the kids are distracted playing with each other, or when they watch TV, or even if I’m sitting out front while they ride bikes, I am picking up my book. I practice self-care when I feed my imagination and my mind goes somewhere else for a bit. 

When we shift our thinking that self-care doesn’t have to be an elaborate production of candles, bubble baths, treats, or getting away, it becomes much more attainable. It becomes a quiet honoring of the needs of my mind, body, and soul. It grows in me an internal listening and self-respect. And most of all, it is something I can practice regardless of my currently confined circumstances. 

How do you self-care during this quarantine?